Prank Calls
by Neko-Serenity14
Summary: Someone is prank calling the characters of Spirited Away! COMPLETE
1. Boys Do Not Call Chihiro

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Spirited Away or it's characters.

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**_Prank Calls_**

_**Chapter 1: Boys Do Not Call Chihiro**_

Chihiro Ogino had been living in her new home for a week. She had no memory of the spirit world. One day the phone rang.

"Hello?" Mrs. Ogino said, picking up the phone.

"Is Chihiro there?" A boys voice asked.

Mrs. Ogino's eyes went wide and sparkled with excitement.

"Is this a boy? A boy for my Chihiro?" She exclaimed.

"Er…yes…This is Nigihayami Kohaku Nushi." The boy said.

"CHIHIRO!" Mrs. Ogino called. "THERE'S A BOY ON THE PHONE FOR YOU! HE SAID HIS NAME IS NIGIYAMA KOHAKU NUMI!"

Chihiro walked into the kitchen.

"Who? I don't know anyone by that name…" Chihiro replied. She went to her mom and took the phone. "Hello?" She asked.

"Chihiro?" The voice asked.

"Yes, who's th-" she was cut off by her dad grabbing the phone from her.

"IS THIS A BOY?" Mr. Ogino asked angrily.

"Yes…" The voice said uncertainly. "I'm a boy who looks like a girl."

"BOYS DO NOT CALL MY DAUGHTER!" And with that, he slammed the phone down.

"That was really a boy calling for me?" Chihiro asked hopefully.

"NO! IT WAS A BOY WHO LOOKS LIKE A GIRL!" Mr. Ogino yelled before stalking angrily out of the room.

"Don't worry dear, if he really cares, he'll call back." Mrs. Ogino said happily, she sat down at the table to wait.

The phone rang.

"Hello?" Chihiro answered.

"Chihiro?" The voice asked.

"Yes?" She asked.

"It's Nigihayami Kohaku Nushi. I know you don't remember me, but-"

Mr. Ogino was back in the kitchen, pulling the phone away from his daughter. "Who is this?" He demanded.

"Nigihaymi Kohaku Nushi, sir." The voice replied.

"I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU THAT BOYS DO NOT CALL MY DAUGHTER!" Mr. Ogino yelled.

"Well, you did, but it's very important that I speak with her." The boy said.

"NO!" And the phone was slammed down once more.

The phone rang again.

Mr. Ogino picked it up. "I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL!"

"Oh, I know. But I really wanted to hear your voice again Chihiro's dad. I think you and I could be good friends." The voice was cheerful.

"Don't you dare talk to me like that!" Mr. Ogino slammed the phone down again. "Chihiro, if that boy calls again, tell him you don't want to talk to him."

"Sure dad." Chihiro said.

Her dad left the room and the phone rang again.

"Hello?" Chihiro answered again.

"Chihiro! Anyways, as I was saying. I know you don't remember me or the spirit world. But you were here a week ago. I wanted to tell you I kept my promise and I'm coming back to you." The boy said happily.

"Erm…spirit world? What promise?" Chihiro asked uncertainly.

"You know, before you left! I promised we'd see each other again."

"I'm sorry…but I don't think I know you."

"Oh, you do, you just don't remember. But that's okay, I'll wait for you. I'd wait forever for you if I had to."

"Um….good bye…" Chihiro said, and with that she hung up.

"So, how'd it go?" Mrs. Ogino asked happily.

"I think he was a crazy person…" Chihiro replied, and then she left.

"Oh dear…." Mrs. Ogino sighed.

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Yeah...I'll be putting up new chapters, once I get them written. But it won't take long...I know exactly what's going to happen for each one XD. Although I'm not sure this one was that funny...but maybe that's just me sweatdrop

Plz no flames or critiquing plz! T.T


	2. Ugliest Bath House in the World

chapter 2...yay!

**Disclaimer: **do i look like a rich and famousjapanese man? no. theres your disclaimer.

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_**Chapter 2: Ugliest Bath House in the World**_

**__**

Yubaba sat at her desk, recording how much gold had been made when the phone rang.

"Hello?" She asked, irritated that someone had interrupted her.

"Hi, I'm an interior decorator, and your bath house has been selected as one of the ugliest bath houses in all the world."

"What do you mean, UGLIEST bath house?" Yubaba asked angrily.

"Well, I have a few tips that may help you to improve your bath house, if you're willing to listen. It'll bring in more customers." The voice on the other end was persuading and cheery.

"Well…I suppose it won't hurt if I can get more customers….but I don't see what's wrong with it in the first place." Yubaba replied.

"Well, first of all, you need to put carpeting in all the rooms. EVERY ROOM. That includes the kitchen. This will supply a comfortable feeling as people walk across the floor, and you won't have to waste water cleaning it. Just get a vacuum. The carpets, to please the guests eyes, should be in colors such as lime green, bright orange, purple, and brown." The voice explained.

"Hm…carpeting….never really thought about that." Yubaba admitted, stroking her very wrinkly chin.

"Not only that, but you need to repaint the walls. Repaint them in colors such as blood red, hot pink, electric yellow, and maroon." The "interior decorator" said.

"You say this will definitely help bring in more customers?" Yubaba asked, writing down the tips this person was giving her.

"Of course! And not only that, if you do this, we'll send you 30 million buckets of gold!"

"30 MILLION BUCKETS OF GOLD?" Yubaba screamed.

"Yes! But only if you do this." The voice assured her.

"OH MY GOD!" Yubaba screamed. She screamed so loud that the people in the human world could hear her voice.

"I take it, you like this deal?" The voice asked.

"I'M PLANNING TO REDO MY BATH HOUSE IMMIDIATLY!" Yubaba exclaimed.

"Well good. The gold will be delivered the day after you reopen your bath house."

Yubabahung up the phone and began making calls to stores to send her carpeting and paint.

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doom doom doom...hm. im thinking there will have to be a very last chapter that shows what happens afterwards. haha...


	3. Male or Female?

my fave chapter so far!  
**Disclaimer:** dont own SA or its characters.

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**_Chapter 3:  
Male or Female?_**

Haku heard the phone ring and picked it up.

"Hello?" He asked.

"This is a poll." An electronic voice said. "If you are male, press 1 if you are female, press 2."

Although he found it odd that he would be getting such a call, he pressed 1.

"You have chosen female." The voice said.

"Huh?" Haku said, confused. How odd, he thought, he could have sworn he'd pressed 1. Unless he'd heard wrong and male was number 2. He pressed 1 again.

"You have chosen female." The voice repeated.

"No…I chose male." He mumbled irritated, pressing 1 once more.

"You have chosen female."

"Gah!" Haku screamed in annoyance. He began pressing 1 over and over again.

"You have chosen female. You have chosen female. You have chosen female. You have chosen female." The voice repeated after each time.

Fed up with the act, he pressed 2.

"You have chosen female." The voice said once more.

"NO! I CHOSE MALE!" He screamed in anger and annoyance. He slammed the phone back down on to the receiver and turned angrily towards the wall.

What the! Why was there a girl in his room? The girl had long straight dark hair that went just past her chin. Her straight bangs hung over a pair of perfectly thin eyebrows and cast a shadow over her beautiful jade eyes. Her face was pale and she was unsmiling, looking angry.

Haku looked closer at the girl, and the girl in return looked closer at him.

"Oh…that's me…" Haku said in surprise.

Pursing his lips and narrowing his eyes at what he now realized to be his reflection, he came to a decision. He turned around and went to his desk. Opening the top drawer, he pulled out a pair of scissors.


	4. Rin, will you go out with me?

hehe, another chapter up! this and the last chapters r my 2 favorite.  
**Disclaimer: **I don't own Spirited Away or its characters

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**_Chapter 4:  
Rin, will you go out with me?_**

Rin was busy sweeping the hall she was in when the wall phone rang. Seeing that no one was paying any attention, she sighed and answered with an annoyed "Hello?"

"Rin?" Came the voice.

"Um, yeah. Who's this?" She asked boredly.

"It's Haku." Was the reply.

"Haku? Why are you calling me…?" Rin asked.

"Um…Rin…can I ask you something?" 'Haku' said nervously.

"I guess…" Rin replied, ignoring the loud chatter of the bath house behind her, trying to hear Haku better.

"Well….I think you're really pretty, and uh, I just wanted to know, would you like to go on a date with me?" 'Haku' asked.

"What!" Rin exclaimed, feeling her cheeks burn.

The noise around her stopped and she turned to look at the other workers. They were all staring at her, wondering about her sudden outburst. She glared at them and they all returned to their duties as if nothing had happened.

"Oh…I don't know Haku…" Rin replied uncertainly. She'd never felt so uncomfortable before. "What about Sen? Aren't you and her in love or something?"

"Sen?" 'Haku' scoffed. "She looks like a monkey! You look like a goddess compared to her!"

Rin felt herself flush. "Haku…" she said, trailing off. She didn't know what to think. Should she be flattered at such a compliment, or think that he was a total jerk for dissing Sen like that?

"Please Rin? I would love to take you somewhere!" 'Haku' begged.

"Haku, I don't think this is such a good idea…" Rin said.

"Fine!" 'Haku' said angrily. With that, there was a click and then a dial tone. He'd hung up.

Rin stared at the phone in a daze for a moment before finally hanging up as well. She turned around, thinking how odd it was that Haku would try to ask her out, when to her surprise, Haku came walking down the hall.

Rin gasped. Hadn't she just been on the phone with him? And there was something different about him….his hair was no longer girly! It was cut short and spiked up with jell (where he got the jell, no one knows). He actually looked cute! Now she could see how beautiful his green eyes were. She'd never noticed how good looking he was. The new hair style was definitely nice.

Rin turned around, her back to him, her eyes trained on the ground as she continued to sweep. Her face was red and hot. She had just turned him down! If only she'd known about his new hair….

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muwhahahahhahahahaa. whoever this person is is sure causing trouble XD. more to come soon. 


	5. Stop Eating People and the Old Granny!

chapter 5! im thinking only 2 more to go...

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**_Chapter 5:  
Stop Eating People; Old Granny!  
_**

_Ring ring!_

No-Face picked up the phone and put it to wherever his ear was. "Uh uh" He grunted.

"No-Face! It's Sen!" Came a voice.

"UUUUUUHHHH!" No-Face grunted excitedly.

"I know you're excited, but I just wanted to call to let you know…_I know what you did._" 'Sen' said to No-Face.

"Uh?" No-Face was confused.

"That's right No-Face. I know what you did. You ate more people this morning…"

"Uh uh!" No-Face cried in astonishment. He had not!

"You did too. Don't lie to me. If you do it again, I won't love you anymore."

"UH!" No-Face grunted. Feeling as though he might cry.

"No-Face dear, who is it?" Came an old but kind voice. Zeniba entered the room and saw a very upset looking No-Face. "What's wrong?"

"Uh!" No-Face cried. He heard a click. He looked at the phone, confused. No-Face fled the room. Sen didn't love him! She thought he was eating people! He hadn't done that! Why'd she think that?

Zeniba stared after him. "Well that was strange…"

_Ring ring._ The phone rang again.

"Hello?" Zeniba answered.

"Zeniba! I need your help!" It seemed to be Haku.

"Haku, what is it dear?" Zeniba asked.

"Well…I'm in love with Rin, you know, one of the bath house workers. So I called her to see if she'd go out with me, but she said no! What should I do? I love her so much! I want to be with her!" 'Haku' cried.

"Haku? Well….if she doesn't feel the same way for you, what can you do? There's no forcing love." Zeniba tried to comfort him.

"But I want her to love me!" Haku cried.

"Well, some times things to work out that way…but remember Chihiro is out there some where waiting for you. You and her are meant to be." Zeniba explained.

"I don't want her! She looks like a monkey!" 'Haku' exclaimed. "Rin is the most beautiful girl in the world! I want her! Not a stupid old monkey!"

"Well, you and her are meant to be…" Zeniba repeated.

"So what are you saying? Rin and I aren't meant to be? HOW COULD YOU! I TRUSTED YOU! I EXPECTED YOU TO HELP ME! SOME HELP YOU ARE OLD GRANNY!" With that, the phone was slammed down on to the receiver.

"Well…that was interesting…" Zeniba said, scratching her head.

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no flames plz! im sorry if this chapter wasnt really the best...i tried tho! possibly only 2 more chapters to go and then itll be done. 


	6. Kamaji, you're fired!

chapter 6! sorry its so short...

**disclaimer:** dont own SA or its characters

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**_Chapter 6: Kamaji, you're fired!_**

Kamaji grunted in irritation as the phone rang. He continued his work as one of his arms reached over and grabbed the phone.

"Hello?"

"Kamaji, you're fired." A voice came.

"Yubaba?" Kamaji asked.

"Who else would this be?" 'Yubaba' asked. "You're fired."

"I'm fired?" Kamaji asked in astonishment, his work stopping.

"Yes, you heard me. We are no longer in need of you r services. Goodbye."

"Why am I fired?" Kamaji asked.

"Because you're too old." 'Yubaba' said.

Kamaji bit his lip to keep from stating his opinion on her. "But I've been here for 1, 900 years!" Kamaji exclaimed. "How can you fire me now? I'm still working just fine!"

"I don't care. I want you gone by tomorrow." 'Yubaba' stated.

Kamaji heard the phone click. Angrily he hung up and stopped working. He started packing his things, grumbling how the bath house couldn't run with out him. Why would Yubaba suddenly decide this? She was obsessed with money. With out him, she'd go broke! As if that was possible with all the gold she has….Kamaji decided. And she never even shared it!

At last Kamaji was ready to go. Thinking for a few minutes, he thought of the perfect place…._Hawaii!_

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yeah...very short, i no. sorry. its almost done, probly 1 more chapter to go. next chapter is the conclusion! no flames plz! 


	7. Afterwards

i know its been forever, finally got around to doing this! just haven't been in the mood for writing i guess.

**disclaimer:** dont own spirited away or its characters

**Chapter 7:  
Afterwards...**

Poor Chihiro…years later when the phone rang and a boy called for her, she refused to take the call. She feared it may be her crazy stalker, Nigihaymi Kohaku Nushi. What kind of name was that anyway? She never had a boyfriend…she was never friends with any guys. She seemed to be going insane from fear.

Yubaba immediately began reconstruction on her whole bath house to make it more appealing to her guests. She waited day in and day out for the buckets of gold to come, when they didn't she flew into a rage, but did not give up hope. She was so bent on getting that gold, she never realized how she was loosing customers. She never even noticed Kamaji was gone! Pretty soon all her gold was used up and most of the bath house workers left, including Haku.

Haku, with his new hair cut, seemed to be getting quite a bit of attention from most of the female population. He never really took notice of this, as he was too in love with Chihiro. The bath house was falling apart, guests stopped coming, and workers stopped working. So at last he took his chance to leave and find Chihiro. Little did he know, he was the last person she wanted to see….

Rin was now madly in love with Haku, his first of many fans. Every where he went, she'd stare after him longingly and sometimes would approach him, hoping to say something. But each time, all she could get out was gibberish and a blush. She was so hopelessly in love with him, but he never seemed to pay attention to her. Maybe he was hurt that she'd refused his offer. Oh if only she'd known how cute he was with his new hair cut, things would be different! Every night she cried herself to sleep and then had sweet dreams of her and Haku together.

Poor old No-Face was distressed over Sen's call, he stopped eating and soon began to fade away. Zeniba did her best to take care of him, but it just wasn't enough. He soon disappeared from the world into oblivion.

On the bright side of things, Kamaji was doing fine! He took a trip to Hawaii, and each day would lie on the beach, soaking in the rays. He even took up surfing! There were plenty of hot chicks in cute bikinis all over, and he took his time flirting with each of them and buying drinks. They were all over him! Ah, this was definitely the life! If only he'd gotten out of the bath house sooner. If only he'd known how wonderful Hawaii is. It was like paradise to him. And on top of that, the soot balls were now his own personal and willing slaves! The girls loved em!

And the people behind this mess? Well, they're out there somewhere, enjoying themselves, wondering how the poor Spirited Away people are doing. They live in Hawaii. Their names are Luna and Kai. Brother and sister. Luna even met up with Kamaji and they're now engaged! Well, at least something worked out well in the end, right?

**THE END**

finally finished :) thanks for reading! no flames plz...T.T


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